A Wonderful Story

A NYC Taxi driver wrote:

I arrived at the address and honked the horn. After waiting a few minutes I honked again. Since this was going to be my last ride of my shift I thought about just driving away, but instead I put the car in park and walked up to the door and knocked.. ‘Just a minute’, answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor.

After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 90′s stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940′s movie.

By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets.

There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard
box filled with photos and glassware.

‘Would you carry my bag out to the car?’ she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman.

She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb.

She kept thanking me for my kindness. ‘It’s nothing’, I told her. ‘I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother to be treated.’

‘Oh, you’re such a good boy, she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address and then asked, ‘Could you drive
through downtown?’

‘It’s not the shortest way,’ I answered quickly..

‘Oh, I don’t mind,’ she said. ‘I’m in no hurry. I’m on my way to a hospice.

I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. ‘I don’t have any family left,’ she continued in a soft voice, ‘the doctor says I don’t have very long.’ I quietly reached over and shut off the meter.

‘What route would you like me to take?’ I asked.

For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator.

We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.

Sometimes she’d ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.

As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, ‘I’m tired. Let’s go now’.
We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico.

Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move.
They must have been expecting her.

I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.

‘How much do I owe you?’ She asked, reaching into her purse.

‘Nothing,’ I said

‘You have to make a living,’ she answered.

‘There are other passengers,’ I responded.

Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.

‘You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,’ she said. ‘Thank you.’

I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light.. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life..

I didn’t pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?

On a quick review, I don’t think that I have done anything more important in my life.

We’re conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments.

But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.

Norris Technique: What’s it all about?

The Norris technique is a technique that teaches you, without manipulation from anyone else, how to align your body so that it is in its best possible position for living.
This ‘do-it-yourself kit’ to correct posture was developed by Patricia Norris, a former classical ballet dancer who realised along the way that beautiful is not necessarily beneficial.

Years of working in a variety of related disciplines-Yoga, Alexander, Pilates (in New York with the man himself) Feldenkrais and so on, created a background from which vital considerations could be made.
This, in turn, contributed to Pat’s conclusion: Some of the techniques came close to doing the job that she felt could be done but something intrinsically basic has not been given enough consideration.

Having worked closely with doctors teaching remedial movement to physically disabled children she realised that the missing factor was the correct alignment of the body before exercise……and all movements are in themselves, exercise.

After many years of careful study and observation in several fields including anatomy, posture and even architecture, Pat was satisfied that her technique was ready to unveil. She had kept to her belief that it should be simple for the students to learn so that it could be easily remembered and applied without the intervention of anyone else.

To achieve maximum benefit from the technique, a basic two times a day hands on alignment should be maintained. It takes only three or four minutes each time. The results are demonstrated by adhering to the following:

1. Correct positioning of the feet is the essential foundation of the alignment process. Incorrect positioning will make any further correct adjustments impossible.

2. Further adjustments of the joints and muscles should be precisely positioned to allow up each following part to assume and maintain its own contribution to the entire load.

3. This in turn creates the correct body shape. Once this shape is achieved all the movements are beneficial. The wrong shape puts muscle onto what you want to eliminate rather than what is desirable to keep.

The technique works well to precondition for other disciplines and exercise programs. You can also bring the technique into your daily activities without difficulty to whatever extent you choose and naturally the more often you do this the more quickly the benefits will show.

Some benefits are instantly apparent, the stomach is flattened, hunched shoulders disappear and a double chin is minimised. However there are further benefits that are not so visible-for example, relief from neck and back pains, increased energy and better blood circulation and digestion.

Pat Norris recently shared with me a study published in the New England Journal of Medicine revealing about how obesity a can significantly increase the risk of death. ‘It is now more important than ever to correct the positioning of the waist’ she informs me.

As the Norris Technique not only does this but also improves digestion and helps maximise the potential of other exercise regimes, it should be considered a vital tool in the quest for longevity.

Laura Wilder is available at Calmer Clinics on an Ad Hoc basis.
For further details email Laura:
thenorristechnique@hotmail.co.uk
Norris Technique Website

Good Boss – Bad Boss?

Giving a talk the other evening, I asked the audience for examples of stressors. One lady shared; “My boss. He makes me sick! I’d like to kill him!” Strong words – but familiar? In this economy, perhaps not surprisingly similar exclamations are becoming more and more common in all settings where stress is discussed. Unfortunately, many bosses lack people skills and still see the business world as a cutthroat environment where the strong survive, care and consideration are soft and pointless, and emotions are merely tools with which to manipulate and control.

Even more unfortunately, that kind of attitude is not only upsetting but actually damages employees’ health. Recent studies have shown that the harmful effects of having a boss with this approach to leadership may even be cumulative – the risk goes up the longer an employee works for the same company. Conversely, if your boss has good people skills and a good understanding of emotional intelligence, employees’ health will benefit. Researcher Dr. Anna Nyberg in Stockholm found that it is particularly relevant when heart problems are concerned, ‘If you have a good boss, you have at least a 20 percent lower risk of heart problems and if you stay with your boss for four years, you have at least a 39 percent lower risk.’

Other research shows that good bosses are first and foremost good listeners. Although effective leaders need to be assertive, they also know how to read the responses of people and make adjustments to their own behaviour to get employees to perform well in different situations, including and especially under stress. Good bosses inspire and motivate the people they lead, encourage them to give feedback, and avoid launching into arguments or becoming angry when they think someone is wrong.

Bad bosses on the other hand, give neither time nor priority to listening, and tend to be especially overbearing and inconsiderate to employees that are stressed or fatigued. Although all leaders are under more pressure now than ever, if they lack people skills the added pressure tends to exacerbate their insensitivity and pushiness; “Just get on with it!” may be one of their more typical exclamations. They will show a lack of interest in the well-being of the people they lead and are prone to being demeaning and disrespectful. They exploit their employees’ fear of losing their jobs, (employees are more afraid to lose their jobs in the current economy that before and so less likely to complain), so the ‘bad boss’ behaviour feeds on itself and becomes a vicious cycle. One can see why it’s been coined ‘The Bad Boss Syndrome’!

Although there may be as many good bosses as there are bad, it is likely that most bosses are a bit of both, ‘swinging both ways’ so to speak. In our current economic climate with all its demands, these bosses may make the largely unconscious choice to swing more to the ‘bad side’. Economic uncertainties and other urgent pressures are seen as justifications to ignore the humane element or ‘soft skills’ and to prioritise company ambition and their own insatiability over the needs of their employees – supporting the research that shows that when people get power, they increase the amount of time spent thinking about their own needs and decrease time spent thinking about others. Interestingly however, if leaders succumb to such ‘bad boss behaviour’ now, studies (and common sense) show that the people they lead will be less likely to follow them when times are good – and
now we know they will be more likely to become sick in the meantime! All of which will of course impact the bottom line. – And at the end of the day, it is about the bottom-line; so leaders who do recognize the high value of emotionally intelligent leadership (predominantly ‘people skills’) know the very real impact on profit.

WHAT TO DO?

If you work for someone who suffers from ‘bad boss syndrome’, ideally you might want to consider switching jobs. If however, such a step is unrealistic, and assuming you have done all you can in communicating with HR, these tips might help:
1.      As soon as you notice any thoughts that lead to stress, resentment or frustration, or any tension in your body, take a mental time-out. No matter where you are, exhale before you do or say anything else. Then take a deep breath and exhale again, shifting your attention down into your chest and body. Repeat. After three or four times, re-look at whatever made to tense and see if your perspective has shifted at all. If it has, consider acting on your new perspective or insight.
2.      Consider whether any one of the issues you have with your boss are such that you could talk to him/her about it. (For example, you might have a suggestion for an improvement of the work environment.) Should you decide to have a conversation, be sure you breathe and center yourself and stay emotionally managed throughout.
3.      Confide in an appropriate colleague or find a mentor you can trust, to discuss your concerns with. Again, stay emotionally managed and avoid whining. It is always helpful to off-load stress, express concerns and exchange insights with someone you can trust.
4.      Make sure your CV is up to date and in good shape, and build your professional network outside of the organization you work with. Worst-case scenario; you may need help to find another job.

If you yourself suspect that you suffer from Bad Boss Syndrome, here are a few things you can do to help turn it around:

1.      Recognize that change is needed – that you are causing stress and not being an effective leader. Get a journal and write about what you ‘observe’ about yourself, including any feedback you have received that confirms this. This can be a daunting task but is the most critical step for any change to take place.
2.      Notice what you feel about it all – and start a list of all the emotions you feel throughout your day. Keep the list nearby at all times, and just observe yourself, and how your emotions drive your different actions and behaviours.
3.      Practice breathing slowly (especially extending the exhale). Take a moment for three slow breaths every hour at least. Before meetings, scheduled conversations, and conference calls, take 5 minutes to breathe deeply and centre yourself – you will gain many hours in time saved because you are now emotionally managed!
4.      Take ten or fifteen minutes each day and do a ‘walk-about’ – visiting your employees just to see how they are feeling. Again, breathe and centre yourself before doing this, ensuring you are calm and internally well-managed. Make it a personal policy to set your own agendas aside and just listen to anything people say during the walkabout. Address and consider any responses after you have returned to your desk and have time and space for a balanced perspective.

The only way to begin shifting the ‘Bad Boss Syndrome’, whether you ARE one or HAVE one, is to acknowledge that the condition exists and to start developing your own emotional intelligence and management – which can only contribute to some form of improvement. Last but not least, you may consider hiring a coach to facilitate and support you.

By: Jennifer Day, Coach at Calmer Clinics

For more articles, helpful audios, or to contact Jennifer, go to www.TheBeingEffect.com

Who Is In Charge – You Or Your Emotions?

WHO IS IN CHARGE – YOU OR YOUR EMOTIONS?

By Jennifer Day

When considering our health from a holistic perspective – connecting the dots physically, mentally and emotionally – I have found it can be helpful to use an analogy.  Last summer, I came across one that struck me as quite clever, in a book called The Happiness Hypothosis (by Jonathan Haidt). Encountering it again in another book (Switch by Chip & Dan Heath), my esteem increased by several notches from ‘that’s clever’ to ‘that’s bloomin’ brilliant!’ 

Imagine emotions represented by an elephant (yes, you read it right). Then imagine thought, or the brain, represented by the rider of that elephant. Finally, imagine the environment they are in, (the people and surroundings they interact with, the destination they are headed for), etc, represented by a pathway. For any journey taken by the elephant and the rider to run smoothly, the pathway needs to be obvious and clear, not cluttered by too much junk, preferably wide enough, and otherwise conducive to the journey and the safe arrival at their chosen destination.

While the idea of a path needing to be clear and conducive may be an analogy you are already familiar with, the concept that is more unusual here is the one that uses an elephant to symbolize emotions, while ‘rational thought’ is represented by a mere man – (when I use the word ‘mere’ I am of course referring to the comparative size).  In this context size does matter, because it indicates power and force and, as we know, (even if we rarely take it into consideration on a daily basis), emotions are more powerful than thoughts. In fact, emotions are so much more powerful than thoughts that the ratio is probably quite accurately depicted in this image! Keep going with the analogy and it may look something like this:

 When the elephant is well fed & watered (emotionally content), looked after (acknowledged), and cared for (validated), he is happy to oblige the will of his rider’s commands (logical reasoning) and go where his rider tells him to go. However, if he has been deprived of food & water (feelings ignored or denied), has been neglected (invalidated) and kept confined (suppressed), he will not be in any condition to obey his master well. If the rider attempts to force compliance, the elephant will in all likelihood become resentful, uncooperative, defiant, and eventually veer out of control (frustration, anger, or other unpleasant emotion). No matter how much the rider holds the reins and may look like he’s in charge, in reality he is immobilized simply because the six-ton elephant is the larger, more powerful one. Imagine trying to reach your destination in this scenario!

 Translate all this back to your own day-to-day environment, thoughts, and emotions, and you may get some insights into why your life isn’t always happening the way you want or think it should! For example; do you ever find yourself escaping into your laptop or I-phone during meetings when you know you shouldn’t be? Or not speaking up when you know you should? Do you ever hear yourself saying something you know isn’t wise or that you’ll regret, but you can’t stop yourself? Or loosing your temper and yelling at your child when you know it’s inappropriate?? Do you know you shouldn’t be eating that cholesterol-packed meal but you just can’t help it? Do you want to be exercising/meditating/practicing self-care but can’t seem to get around to it? I could go on and on with examples of procrastination, flared tempers, avoidance, stressed out behaviours, and – well, you get the picture! The piece that can be helpful here is the image of your emotions as the six-ton elephant, and your ‘sensible brain’ as the rein-holding rider. When your ‘rider’ wants you to stop (or start) doing something but you don’t ‘agree’, it’s because your ‘elephant’ is not being addressed and so he has taken charge – whether that means he’s charging off, refusing to move or just being inert. Picture the last time this happened to you!………………………………………. Now picture the good news; that when your rider considers the elephant and the two work together, the arrival at your destination (what you want to achieve or how you’d like to behave) is pretty much assured, and you can use the heightened intelligence you gain from all your brain’s systems being coherent, to ensure that the pathway – your environment and conditions – are as supportive as possible.

 So next time you feel yourself not being congruent in thought and deed, or in feeling and expression, give yourself a brief ‘time-out’, stop what you’re doing for just one minute, (if you can, stand up firmly on both feet), and take a deep breath. Hold it and notice any tension you are feeling anywhere in your body. Try to identify what it feels like. Then as you exhale, let all the tension go, imagining it melting away from your body the way ice melts in the sun. Now take another breath in and move your attention to your heart. Smile. As you exhale, feel a good ‘smiling’ feeling fill your heart and chest and radiating out to fill your torso. Hold onto and enjoy the good feeling. Now ask yourself what emotions you may have been feeling that interfered with your internal coherence – what was going on with your ‘elephant’?

Or was there something going on with your ‘rider’, like over-analysis, or over-thinking – in which case the ‘elephant’ may have a touch of emotional insecurity going on –

Whatever comes to you, however brief an insight, write it down.

If appropriate, act on it.

 This whole process will normally take 2 to 3 minutes, but can often save you hours, even weeks, with the increased coherence between ‘elephant’ and ‘rider’ that you gain!

 In my experience, there really is nothing like this kind of development of emotional intelligence; or what we call emotional mastery, to get the ‘elephant’ and the ‘rider’ working together ….. maybe we should re-name it Elephant Mastery.

By: Jennifer Day,

EM Coach at Calmer Clinics

A Little Light Relief

In healthcare we can sometimes get overwhelmed by the seriousness of situations we encounter. It’s good to sometimes take a step back and reappraise our priorities. Here is a set of penetrating questions to peruse while you enjoy your weekend!
• Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
• How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
• Why do you have to ‘put your two cents in’… but it’s only a ‘penny for your thoughts’? Where’s that extra penny going?
• Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
• Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
• What disease did cured ham actually have?
• How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
• Why is it that people say they ‘slept like a baby’ when babies wake up like every two hours?
• If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
• Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?
• Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
• Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They’re going to see you naked anyway…
• Why is ‘bra’ singular and ‘panties’ plural?
• Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
• If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
• If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?
• Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!
• If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
• If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
• Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
And, finally:
• Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Energy & Medicine

Mention the word ‘energy’ to some people, especially in conjunction with the word ‘healing’, and watch the reaction. More often than not it will be the same as if you had produced a rather unpleasant smell. This is unfortunate. It is generally accepted that energy, in the form of ATP derived from metabolic reactions, is required for any healing process to occur. And yet the concept of influencing this process is in some way considered cranky. In this article I want to provide a taste of how the empiricism and science of energetics can be reconciled.

Advances in quantum physics have begun to elucidate new realms of matter and anti-matter. This has required shifts in expert consensus that are slowly trickling down to the coal-face of clinical medicine. Take the phenomenon of gravity for example. We know that an apple falling from a tree will fall toward the Earth. This empirical observation was well documented before Sir Isaac Newton described the science behind it. But why should any object with mass necessarily attract other objects toward it? It has taken recent research to discover particles of matter, acting as atomic ‘glue’, responsible for gravitational attraction.

Magnetism is another, related, property familiar to all but understood by few. At a fundamental level we still do not know what it is. Without the use of iron filings, compasses or magnetometers we are not consciously aware of magnetic fields. Perhaps this awareness is just another level of palpation that can be developed. Magnetic healing has had a bad press due to charlatans including Anton Mesmer but it has been a feature of medical practise through the ages. An example of today’s magnetic medicine might be the use of MRI.

A flow of electrons produces magnetic fields. Thus a nerve fibre conducting an action potential (which is an alternating current going from polarised to depolarised states) along its length will cause a measurable biomagnetic field. Energy fields can lay the foundations for form (as with the imposed regular pattern of iron filings). Crystalline structures have piezoelectric properties (like a quartz crystal in a watch producing regular pulses of electrical energy) and many of the structures in the body are crystalline (think of a cross-section of the actin and myosin filament arrangement in skeletal muscle or rods and cones in the retina). This leads to vibrational energy being produced. Vibrating tissues will have specific resonating frequencies that can be harmonised (say between practitioner and patient). These are just a few illustrations of bioenergetic principles. 

We ignore these principles at our peril. As early as 1934, a Yale professor of medicine Harold Saxton Burr was discovering subtle bioelectric field changes could be used as predictors for the later development of malignant tumours in mice. These changes occur before other means of detection become effective. Extending this to osteopathy and other forms of manual medicine, it is feasible to imagine detecting a change in the structure of the bioelectric field and using this to make an early diagnosis of dysfunction. Some healers would claim to do this already. Much research has been done into bioelectric fields with some fascinating results including the consistent prediction of ovulation and detection of brain electrical field changes in anticipation of thought. Our knowledge is evolving from an emphasis on bioelectricity to an understanding of bioelectronics.

The debate between mechanistic and vitalistic philosophies will continue as long as there are new discoveries to be made. History has taught us that yesterday’s mysticism, paranormality, and metaphysics can become rationalised by today’s science. Important as it is to retain healthy scepticism, remember that what may seem esoteric now could become mainstream.

If this has aroused an interest then I would recommend reading an excellent overview: ‘Energy Medicine, The Scientific Basis’ by James L. Oschmann (published by Churchill Livingstone).

 Author:  David Propert, Osteopath at Calmer Clinics

The Magic Sponge…

We’ve all seen it. One moment a footballer is hurtling down the wing, beating one player, then another, the next he is lying in a crumpled heap on the floor, writhing in agony. Then two things happen. First, a decidedly brutish looking individual, usually unshaven and with long hair, can be seen feigning astonishment at the telling off received from the referee over the near fatal tackle, despite what appears to be pulpy flesh attached to the undersurface of his boot. The second event is far more intriguing. When the referee decides that it is going to take more than a slap on the back and a ‘run it off, theres a good chap” to stop the bleeding, he signals to the bench and on sprints one of the most enigmatic characters of the sport – the physio. What happens next is pure magic. A few words are exchanged with the injured party, then the physio reaches into the depths of his bag and pulls out a can of miracle ‘cure-all’ spray, sprays it on the ailing part, and up jumps the individual restored to his previous levels of vim and vigour.

 In fact, so intriguing were these events that I found myself at university studying for a physiotherapy degree, following which I spent  5 seasons working for Queens Park Rangers football club at various levels. To be serious for a moment, the role of the physio on such occasions is predominantly one of risk assessment. Is this an injury that needs immediate medical attention, a concussion or broken bone for example, or is it one that can be safely shrugged off on the field of play with little future risk to the player concerned? In the majority of instances the injury is of little long-term consequence and the decision is made for the player to carry on. Now comes the magic. What effectively the player needs to overcome is pain, and what the physio has to offer is a series of counterstimulants. In a nutshell, this is the well recognised ability to treat one pain with a different pain. Think pouring vinegar into your eyes to distract yourself from the pain of the latest Tom Cruise film.

 The most commonly used counterstimulant is cold, usually provided by a freeze spray. My particular weapon of choice was a big re-usable drinks dispenser that you filled with crushed ice and water which reached near freezing temperatures. Its effects were two-fold. Not only could you reach near frostbite depths of pain relief by hosing the injured area, but also my habit of liberally dousing both head and neck and sometimes genital areas with the icy cold blast, meant that my arrival on the field was greeted with fear and frequently an additional adrenalin induced analgesia that got  the injured player up and sprinting away from me before Ithe top of my bottle was popped.

 Now this treatment might sound a little harsh, but footballers aren’t always the little angels the media would have us believe. Often an injury would occur leading me to sprint on to the pitch, heart in mouth due to the high-pitched wails coming from the prone figure on the floor. When enquiring what the problem was it was not uncommon to be informed that the injured party was tired and needed a breather, or they were thirsty and wanted a sip of the water they knew resided in my bag. So this is what they got; in addition to a liberal hosing of head, neck and genital areas.

 Now you might wonder what the point of me telling you all this is ? Well in case you have been distracted by our recent cricketing triumphs, the football season is once again upon us. And this means lots of the best sport in the world but also the frustration of having to watch numerous primadonnas rolling in agony on the ground feigning injury. This is where the FA can make use of my experience. It is my opinion that the phenomenon of footballers faking injury can effectively be eliminated from the game by upping the ante of the physio. Throw away the cold sprays and heat rubs and instead give us the means to provide massive electrical shocks; tazers for example. Not only is electrical stimulation a particularly effective form of pain relief, but perhaps also the size of the shock administered could be controlled by some FA representatives who are watching video playbacks of the event. Should they suspect ungentlemanly conduct, the shock delivered could be increased as a means of deterring against future play-acting. This type of conditioning has been shown to be very effective on rats and so should easily dissuade your average footballer. Sepp Blatter, if you are reading this, I am looking forward to your call.

Author: Danny Armitage, Physiotherapist at Calmer Clinics Dolphin Square